Our families function best when all of us are in a good frame of mind.  If your family is in chaos and you are left feeling overwhelmed and agitated, it may be time to do some cleaning within yourself.  I have come up with something called the truth list.  It has been beneficial to me and I am hopeful it does the same for you.  Sometimes, you and I are the problem and we do not realize it.  I do a truth list often and I do it when I feel the most overwhelmed and defeated. 

Before you begin, understand that you must know God in order for the truth list to be fully effective.  The best therapist you can get is Jesus.  Your life depends on it.  If you have not all ready, come know Him today!

A truth list should be done alone and without distraction.  It is a time spent on reflecting on who you are and what you want to be.  What really goes on in your mind?  Be honest with yourself.  It is not the picture everyone sees, it is looking at the thoughts in your head. 

Many times, you and I think we can live under a veil.  We can pretend to be someone on the outside and ignore the thoughts raging on the inside.  We are all fairly good at acting.  Those inside thoughts will eat us alive, though.  So, why not tackle them? 

I usually have quite a bit I add to my truth list.  I tackle each issue one by one.  When doing my list, I noticed my issue with jealousy.  I was envious of many people.  I would look at my Facebook and see all these fun things my friends were doing.  I would see the success of others.  Instead of being truly happy for them, I was envious.  I was mad I did not have what they do. I realized my jealousy was starting to grow.  I was not happy for anyone who had good things going on in their life.  I felt the world was unfair.  Here I am, a good person…why do I struggle?  I began comparing and criticizing others in my head.  I would think things like this: “why does she have all that?  I know who she is and she certainly does not deserve it!”

My jealousy was spiraling out of control.  It was making me bitter, envious, and left me feeling sorry for myself.   This started reflecting on my outward actions.  I was becoming impatient with my children and envious of my own husband.  

The negative thoughts I had were beginning to surface and this is why they must be tackled.  

What do we do?

Once you and I make a list, we start researching the problem.  My first go to is God.  I pray about my problem.  I ask for guidance and direction.  

I then reach for my Bible and read about my problem.  There are two great apps that you can put directly on your phone that make this easy. The Olive Tree Bible app and the YouVersion Bible app.  They are both free and easy to use.  

The Olive Tree app is a Bible.  You are reading the inspired word of God directly.  This is important because it speaks to you in ways no one else can Another reason this is important is because many times humans put their own spin on things. We when read things for ourselves, we find true meaning.  All you have to do with this app is put your issue in the search bar.  You will find scripture related to what you are going through.  Read and meditate on the words you find.  

The YouVersion app is loaded with Bible studies.  You simply search your issue and studies will show up related to it.  

Lastly, research through Google.  There are tons of blogs, articles, and information on just about any problem you desire tackling.  By going through all of this, we will see that our problem is much bigger than we expected.  

My results

I spent several weeks studying jealousy.  I read what the Bible had to say, I participated in Bible study and I read what psychologists and others had found.  I realized jealousy would eat me alive if I did not resolve this.  I continued my prayers and I avoided anything I possibly could that struck the chord of jealousy.  

I can tell you, by the grace of God and through my studies and research, I am free of jealousy.  Anytime a thought remotely close to jealousy gets in my mind, I avoid it and I immediately pray about it.  

Final Words

Do not be discouraged if you have a laundry list of issues.  I know I do.  Right now, I am focusing on patience.  I need to have faith and hope that things will work out for the best.  I make rash decisions because of my impatience and those decisions effect my career as a writer and my family as a whole. I am rushing to get things done in hopes it will get me somewhere.  I am learning to be still and know everything comes in God’s timing and not my own.  I still have a lot to work out when it comes to impatience.  I was able to overcome jealousy, I can do this too.  

Pick the issue that eats at you the most.  Frequent your truth list.  Things change and things can be added or removed.  Nothing felt better to me than putting a big X over jealousy.  It was a problem I tackled on my own with God.  

There is no need to reveal what is in your head to anyone but yourself and God.  I only shared to let you know you are not alone.  

We will all go through phases and times of trial.  What you and I cannot do is let that build up inside.  When we do, it leads to other problems and eventually surfaces outwardly.  These behaviors then effect the whole family.  

I think most of us could agree that our family is a important thing in our lives.  Having healthy relationships in the family begins with us. We all have a role (or sometimes several) to play in the family:  wife, husband, parent, brother, sister..the list goes on and on.  We need to be healthy in our minds in order to fill those shoes properly.  

Photo credit: Diego PH @unsplash.com

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Categories: Self help


I am a Christian writer with a BA in Psychology and a certification in Family Studies. My goal is to help others find balance in their lives. I use Biblical and psychological perspectives and believe if we have a willingness and desire to change, we can for the better.


Megwyn F. · September 14, 2018 at 1:22 am

Hi, Holly
Jealousy is one of the oldest truths in the world. Your post is an eye-opener for people. We normally feel envious at some point in our lives and jealousy becomes its worst stage. Every woman truly need to address her personal issues that sometimes she tends to put aside or is half aware of, so that in doing so, she will be freed and be happier whatever circumstance she is into.
Megwyn F.
Mom plus business

    Holly · September 14, 2018 at 2:00 am

    I agree completely. Anytime I start doubting myself, I stay away from things that get that jealousy started. We should be happy with ourselves and others. Thanks for reading!

Elizabeth · September 14, 2018 at 1:01 am

That’s is so awesome I am learning this right now in my conflict resolution class. Right now we are learning about taking the log out of your own eye before you can take the speck out of your brother’s eye. It is helping me see where I am having problems and how to restore my relationships with God, myself and others. I will admit it is hard to see yourself as flawed and part of the problem even though we know we are flawed and fragile. I’ve been struggling with residual feelings over an ex from an over a decade ago. I know, embarrassing right? I’m not that person, but it happened to me just the same. I now understand it is because I had a desire that turned into a demand that will never be fulfilled. Knowing that is where it is stemming from is giving me my power back to forgive myself, my ex and God. I feel like I can move forward with peace of mind and heart. Awesome article thank you for sharing.
Elizabeth 🙂

    Holly · September 14, 2018 at 2:04 am

    Sounds like I need to join this class! I love that Bible verse and wish I would have thought to use it on here! It is perfect! I think all of us need a lot more work than we realize. The greatest part of Bible Study is it makes you humble. You begin to focus more on changing you than you do changing everyone else. Thanks for sharing and for reading!

Ann-Marie · September 13, 2018 at 7:24 pm

All of this. Thank you so much for sharing. So much of this spoke to me. I’m going to work on my truth list now!

    Holly · September 14, 2018 at 2:05 am

    I am glad it spoke to you because that is my goal as a blogger! The truth list helps me a lot. I hope it does the same for you. Thank you so much for reading!

Courtney · September 13, 2018 at 3:08 pm

This is great! The tips are so helpful and the apps sound wonderful. I love when people share their real and honest feelings.

    Holly · September 14, 2018 at 2:07 am

    Thank you so much. I think sharing as a blogger is important. It makes people going through the same things know they are not alone. Those apps are amazing. I hope you enjoy them. I appreciate you taking the time to read my post!

Christie · September 12, 2018 at 11:14 am

I have also have put a big X over
jealousy, I always say hating someone
does nothing to them at all but will
destroy you!

Thank you for sharing xx

    Holly · September 12, 2018 at 4:10 pm

    It can be a very bad habit to get into when you are down and out and things are not going your way. You want a different life, so you compare yourself to others. Jealousy gets the best of you when you are on the ground. I am glad I was able to throw that part of me away. Thanks for reading!

Amira · September 11, 2018 at 8:50 pm

These are some great tips! Jealousy in my opinion is awful and eats you up inside. Glad to see you are free from it. Thanks for the two apps you suggested- will check them out!
Amira at ASelfGuru.com

    Holly · September 11, 2018 at 9:25 pm

    Yes, I agree. I’m so thankful I’ve overcome, it made me a miserable person inside. I hope you enjoy the apps as much as I do!

      Nina · September 12, 2018 at 12:46 am

      Thank you for being honest and sharing your feelings as a means to help others who are also struggling. I will definitely check out those apps! Thanks again and God bless.

        Holly · September 12, 2018 at 1:15 am

        Thank you for taking the time to read it! I appreciate your support. Great apps! I hope you like them. God Bless You!

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